The Caterer’s Lament

I found this at the back of one of Miss Reeve’s own recipe books.  Worth a read. Gave rise to a chuckle!

By Sir Lindsay Ring, GBE  Lord Mayor of London at the Hotelympia Inaugural Luncheon 14th January 1976.

If you can keep your cooks when all about you  are paying twice as much per week as you, If you can trust your staff to do without you, but make allowance for their fiddling too, If you can wait, far better than a waiter, and keep your portions to their proper size,  if you can fix a leaking radiator, and not use rabbit in your chicken pies.
If you can cook and not make food your master, if you can drink and not make drink your aim, if you can sell your chef’s latest disaster, and maintain your food percentage just the same, if you can bear to hear your clear instructions,  distorted till they all mean different things, if you can settle kitchen porters’ ructions, and find time to check each load the tradesman brings.
If you can work all hours and not begrudge it, if you can make a perfect lobster mousse, if you can manage on the tightest budget, and still not water down your orange juice, if you can take your books and make ’em balance, and meet the auditors without a qualm, if you can feel rewarded for these talents, and not be known to have an itching palm.   
if you can work with fools and not go mental, and instruct your multi-racial staff in mime, if you can  make enough to pay the rental, on equipment out of order half the time, if you can view your life two decades later, and not regret the hardships  you’ve been through.
Then you can say with pride that you can CATER and sit and wonder why the hell you do!
 The Caterer's Lament                                                                               
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